Lately

Yesterday was my follow up with my doctor and she took my bandages off and my stitches have healed well!  We still have one more procedure to go through called an HSG that I have to have done in two months; it doesn't sound all that pleasant.  I am willing though to make sure that we don't wind up in surgery again due to the same circumstances.  If the HSG doesn't show what they want it to, then we have one more option with IVF; therefore I am praying that the HSG results are GREAT when they do it!

Until then I have my second semester of Grad school starting next month, Christmas this weekend with my hubby's family and mine, and my sweet MIL's b-day dinner tonight in Macon.  We are hitting up the local Bonefish; we LOVE the bang-bang shrimp.  I am remembering to count my blessing of which I have many and to remember that everything happens in God's time, not mine.  The pugs are excited to be traveling as well to see all of their fur-cousins in Gray...this will be our Priscilla Pug's 1st Christmas! 

This was Porter Pug last Christmas - It amazes me how much older he looks now-Time flies!

Merry Christmas and safe travels to everyone!!!
XOXO-T

Emotions

I am writing these past few posts in hopes that I can look back on them a few weeks, months, or even years from now and go WOW...things got better and it really did turn out okay.  I know I said on here before that I wasn't going to go into what my surgery involved; but I will say it was emergency surgery, it had to be done, and that it was painful both physically and emotionally.

I feel selfish and sometimes stupid for struggling with my emotions to the extent that I have, but the Mr. and I had been trying for months to achieve what we did, and when it finally happened it felt like it was snatched away before we even really had gotten used to the idea and the excitement.  I feel like a horrible, awful, no-good person when I see people out and about w/ beautiful little babies or those moms-to-be that are so excited; and well, I just can't bring myself to be excited for them...I wish it was us.  I pray it will be us.  In Church this morning I prayed again that God will continually heal my heart and the Mr.'s and that we will again be blessed.  I continually pray to remember that everything happens for a reason and that there is a purpose, time, and place for everything.

Sorry if this is depressing or randomly rambling, but it's helping me right now...

XO-T

Small Things

It is the small things to me this week...I managed to do laundry, drive my car for the first time in a week, pick up Priscilla Pug, clean the shower, and cook dinner.  My sweet, patient hubby will be so happy when he gets home!

We are not even close to being ready for Christmas this year, but the majority of our shopping is done (mom and I did it the day I found out from the doctor for sure I had to have surgery - YES, I'm OCD like that!).  We are having no family Christmas party this year due to it usually being at our house (and lets face it-this lady is down and out right now!), so we are doing Mexican tomorrow night instead.  Nothing says the holidays like chips, salsa, and margaritas, right?!

"that though the radiance which once shine so bright

be forever taken from my sight

thou nothing can restore the hour

of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower

i will grieve not but find strength in what remains behind"

--william wordsworth
Have a blessed weekend!
XO-T.

Recovering...

I had my surgery early Saturday morning at Doctors Hospital...I have to say it never ceases to amaze me how truly blessed P. and I are with such wonderful family and friends.  My family was all there as was P.'s parents and we have had so many sweet family and friends bring us food and calling to see if we need anything and if we are doing okay...again, so blessed!!! 

The surgery brought more pain than I anticipated it would...not just physical pain, but emotional pain as well.  P. said last night that it hit him that we had a loss...One that will stick with us forever.  I won't go into specifics on this blog because I would just like to keep some things private...Mainly just our families and a few very close friends know what happened, but it has been hard this past week for us.  Without our faith, love, support, and prayers we would not have gotten through all of this...

I am also so blessed to have had such wonderful care at the hospital from Dr.'s Tidwell and Dorchak as well as all of the wonderful nurses, etc...Now on to healing.  My poor hubby has to help me stand up, sit down, get dressed, etc...Lots and lots of bonding time for the two of us! 

Hope everyone is having a blessed week...
XOXO-T

Surgery...

I am having surgery this morning and needless to say...I'm terrified.  I am terrified of being put to sleep, terrified of complications, and just terrified in general.  Strangely, I haven't thought all that much about the pain afterwards, just what this surgery means to our little family and how emotional and sad/scared I am. 

If anyone reads this, prayers, please.  I pray for any other women out there that have to have this particular surgery as well.  It is heartbreaking and terrifying. 

I am putting my trust in the Lord that he will please watch over me and my family today.

Off to the hospital we go...At 6:30am!

Terrified,
T.

Getting Stronger...

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."

Psalm 139:13-16 ESV

Still Praying...

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will give you strength, I will bring you help, I will uphold you with the right hand of my justice. (Isaiah41:10)

I am trying to remember these words this week...This has been a sad and trying week for our little family...Praying for stronger days ahead.

Prayers, Please

Can't say what for, but prayers, please for me tomorrow...Hope everyone has had a blessed and wonderful weekend and Sunday...

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."- Romans 15:13.

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